Utopian Wonderland

Feeling like you are the only person in the world, like the rest of this place is made just for you. All that you see is a big setup, with intricate details, like the old huts, the LED tickers, all these commuters and vendors. The feeling of being detached, everything you see isn't what you thought it was. You lose track of reality and time, that something is quite not right. You realize and find everything to be strange, compelling to end this world in some way, like them taking over and burning everything down. That this whole thing was for you alone.

Spirals of white smoke and charred remains that makes you go places, to be there and to be never. You exist because of them, they are your life. You remove one by one, like you remove the bricks from your face, till that fades into thin air. You understand what it is to be wrong, when you thought it couldn't get any better. An explosia, a drum roll and voila. A dragon with no fire and a khaki-trousered-crazy. Where faint was a lifestyle, where you speak through veils and forget about the rest. And you thought this couldn't get any better? Right.

But this was strange enough, happening too fast that you don't even get time to take everything in. Constant, where there was no sense of mind. Or maybe this was what you were supposed to be. You find simple things to be the most fun. You find happiness and that alone. You forget that this world isn't real. You live inside that happiness, this small world, the simple one. Would you make this permanent?

Two Full Moons

This place have been always so special. Watching what man had created till the end of what your eyes can see. The lights and the sun, hundreds of red lights blinking in the sky, the smoke and the trees.

It was a full moon the last time I was here. I was with her. We saw a wishing star that day. I wished I never met her. This place showed me how little and peaceful everything really was. They didn't give me much time to live, not even to smile.

Its a full moon today. I could see the darkness and the roads. Endless trail of red lights, the lone chopper flying over the highest buildings, the little campfires over the beach, the drop of the mountain sky. I saw everyone's life in mute. No screams, no horns, no more pain. Just me and this cold wind. I jumped down the cliff, into the clouds so serene. The embrace.

Almost Got Bit

This is very well an untrue story. Every character in this story is an imaginative experiment. This is a story.

Second year of college. This time when you suddenly feel the power to question and take up things that might end up screwing you in the wrong hole. Anyway, we used to live in a house we rented out near the college. Everyone was very much active in politics and stuff like that. One fine day, there was a party meeting, the one where the party dignitaries come and talk everyone into how awesome they do stuff and all. This meeting started off with a big procession and shouting slogans against the rival parties; party to be exact. The whole thing was a pointless blabber after that, the great comrades telling the greatness they are and how they won everyone independence. There was a talk about how the rivals are looking to attack everyone of this party, this was crazy as there was a warning even to be vigilant and precious.

The night followed. Some of the inmates chose to sleep; two to be exact. The rest of us decided to pay some seniors a visit to see how they are doing and of course there was caroms. After some finger-muscle twisting and flying Boric acid, we were returning. Instead of taking the longer main road, we walked along the shortcut. There were some houses behind the place we lived; three to be exact and the rest was a big ground and a community pond. The was a three way junction, were one way leads to the ground and the other way to the place where we live, beyond the three houses.

Half way around, we started seeing people walking towards us. They stopped near the turn, maybe because there were many of us; six to be exact. They were wearing black, possibly covered in some black paint or something, also wearing masks (no kidding, real masks, like old burglar masks). As we walked past them, they had axes, hammers and sticks in their hands. There was an awkward bit of silence. Everyone ran (read walked) past them quickly into the house. The last person, luckily a strong guy, strongest to be exact, saw one of those guys running towards the us and the door. He slammed the door and pushed it really hard. The door wasn't properly shut as his slippers got under it and the guy had his fingers between the door. What followed after that was a big 300 like shout (I honestly don't know why we shouted instead of screaming). Everyone was running haywire, locking  the back door, windows and trying to wake up the sleeping duo. The one of them sleeping never believed anything I said, and just thought we were shouting for fun. 

We overpowered the others pushing the door, the guy whose hand got stuck must have suffered gravely. Finally we managed to close the door after some serious pushing. They removed the bulbs from outside, we couldn't see anything through the windows. Suddenly there was glass shattering sound from everywhere. Then one guy broke the main window, pointing the sword like thing or a vadivaal inside. They could possible see everyone, we could see only the hand and the sword. It was rusty till the base and looked unused, like forever. That guy only spoke even, warned us and told that this was the last (of course after half a minute of endless swearing), and if either of us were involved in politics, they would end us. They were even specific about the names, two of us to be exact. They broke some more glass panes and ran away. The first thing we did was call the police. 

The next two hours went so fast, people came in, ran around; hearing the noise, there was even our land lord and his group of drinking buddies. They came so fast, like the switching scenes of a movie. The police came and took some pointless reports. We had a hard time making other folks in hostels believe that we were attacked by some lunatics as everyone we phoned thought we were playing some prank. Some finally even came over and stayed for the night. There was glass all around the place and everyone slept in the hallway.

Then, one of us was missing! No one remembered about him until then. He usually baths around midnight, the same time when this happened. "We are in deeper shit!!", we all thought, then suddenly, he came out from under the bed. Seems that, he was "hiding". He was apparently sleeping and (he says) he thought that all of this was some earthquake and went under the bed when he started to hear the glass fall. Also, he knows karate and stuff. The next day followed an, even bigger slogan shouting, and there was police all over the place. We managed to get everyone a reason to go wild. The was a local hartal and college was suspended for the day. And for the police, came to get more of that FIR. We never heard from them again.

When I think back, we had a few hard to sleep nights after that. And also a few long night discussions, about who could have done it. There were lots of rumors that followed too. I still think, many people had hand in this. The fags who lived around the college have always been trying to bully us students. Whatever the truth maybe, it ended in us paying for all the damages. Such an incident never happened after that (yet), there was routine police rounds around the college and surroundings after (till today). And the ruling party got a better image, makes me think if it was and inside job even. Politics, I say.

Starship Bloopers

Hollywood movies were so exciting those days. This guy from school happened to have an Uncle who shipped him all sorts of movie CD's. It happened when we were in 9th. Thanks to our school, the last working day of every month is a half day. This happened to be one such day and what better to do that play football (Yeah, this is India and we call it Football and not Soccer, FYI).

So this CD guy got a new shipment and he gave a movie called the "Starship Troopers". Yay! Sci-fi movie!, we thought. So the plan was to meet at another friend's place, watch the movie, eat lunch and play some football. He kinda had a pretty big family living there. They cooked up some lunch and was waiting for us. So, we started the movie. Wonderful, action movie, we thought. We were served lunch with the pleasure of watching the movie.

More bugs, bombs, guns, grenades and killing. Dope!, we thought. We called in all his family, small kids, grand parents and cousins to enjoy the movie along with the lunch. There was a big crowd applauding to the bug killing (Well, this movie is actually about killing some giant alien bugs for living). Awesome atmosphere!, we thought.

Then, this guy and one another friend finished their lunch and went out to fill air in the football and he took the remote with him. While in the movie, they killed a big alien bug, I guess it was the alpha bug or something and the party began. Certain dialogue was the last thing I remember, "Go, enjoy boys!". Suddenly, the girl from the movie took her shirt off and was topless and started making out. That awkward moment. I stopped eating and was stoned. I got myself together and looked back. One guy was frantically searching for the remote, the guy behind me had a weird smile, most of the lady folk already left and this one guy was clinging outside the house by the window, watching. Two guys sitting in front of me never dared to look back and were enjoying everything.

The next few events took less than a minute. Everyone finished off their lunch and started playing football. Strange thing, I never knew we could eat this fast. We heard that dark things happened to the guy in the house. His mom also called up two other friends home and complained which was followed by some others getting grounded and all that. Luckily, I escaped without a scratch. Some family movie time that was My advice, never watch a movie with family. Btw, I dunno what happened to that CD. Really what happened to that CD?

Moonlight Run

I kept running, It was dark, I could vaguely see a thing. I had been there, but had a faint memory of the whole place. I kept running. Finally, there was the gate. Its pretty high and had dogs on the other side. I threw a stone into the compound, away from the gate and the dogs ran after that. I climbed up on the fence which followed up to the balcony of the house. Its pretty a hard jump, but I could make it.

Luck is a strange act of probability. You see, there were so many houses around that place was first but then, finding the right room in that big Manson. Luck, whatever you call it. She was on her bed. The window was open, with curtains blowing out of them. The thing about this window, it was wide and big. I could easily crawl in. So, I got in and before that, I dropped some biscuits for the dogs on the other side of the balcony, just in case.

I'm pretty good at this. I got it without a noise and tied her down to the bed using the nylon thread I had in my backpack. I took her alarm clock and set it to 4:00am. Took one of her shoes and threw it away. I pasted the big mid-finger poster I drew in her room and locked her room from the inside and thew the key away. Then, I managed a half mustache on her face. Moonlight was happening then. Anyway, she looked peacefully beautiful. I kissed a goodbye and jumped off.

Wherein Lies Her Memories

Stories I've told of my friends comes right from them. You get them some booze and bribe, and voila! They get you these things, wonderful stories. But this doesn't belong there. Everything began when there was this confess-your-love round  in the middle of the University Exam preparations.Usually for most of us here, studying is a mass effort.. Combined study exactly, as no one will have the textbooks or the notes. So it all works on photocopies, self-enlightenment and creative writing. 

Well, this piece is about a man, dressed in the worst and finds no time to bath, 'cause he thinks a lot, really! For this story to happen, we need to jog back exactly 1.75 decades back, the days in the kindergarten, when everything seems to be green, sunny and chocolate. He met his little girl. She lived next door, went in the same school bus. Sat together, ate together.  They became friends and more, they went and came back to and fro for six long years. He felt happy. They loved holding hands. But when you expect everything to be this perfect, entropy happens. This guys gets a kick in his head, and the next thing he knows is that she moved. The best of his days were over. The depression, the pain. Well, not exactly, when you are in 4th grade, everything goes away with some more chocolates, a milkshake and cartoons. Life!

So, when you think everything's over that easy, think again. This so called life, gave him a second chance, something to hold on to. After around 10 years from then, one fine day, she came back to his life. Well, at least the news. She asked about him to his Mom. This became significant in the calculation as this was repeated and she wanted to see him. But as usual, Mom forgot all about this and yeah, life! 

He picked up his phone and it was her. She called to say hi and to invite him for her marriage. Some second chance. His mind was hard to explain, desperate efforts to see her. Nothing worked. So on the day of marriage, that didn't even work. He was late and everything was over. But life, oh yeah, after the twists and turns, he finally got to met her. Engulfed in silence and smiles, the meeting was short lived. Whatever happened was blemished into a deep darker parts of his cerebellum. Facial hair growth recorded an all time high and 4 was the total count of days that he 'forgot' to bath. Life moved on, somehow.

Well, I don't know if this is a love story. But this, a requiem for her memories, the not so forgotten ones.

Laments Of My Soul

I ran , faster and faster, I tipped off a rock and fell down, I was running so fast that I couldn't see a thing. I bruised my forehead in the fall. I stood up, turned around, what am I missing here? I still have a heavy heart, what is happening to me? Chill of being alone, this place doesn't look familiar. This gravel road, with grass - seamless grass all around the path.I can't stop, I still have a long way to go. But, I miss so many things, I miss everything in my life, small things which made me happy. I'm not sad, but it doesn't feel right!

Well, they were right, I tried to change things but, the only thing changed was me. I miss my old friends, I miss innocence. I miss little takes in my life. I wish I could sleep all day, in my mom's lap. I wanna play with my dog. Sit along the playground with my friends and gaze at the trees and grass, dance to the wind. I miss those days when I used to pretend I was sick, and skip school, so that my mom and dad, would stay back home too. I miss school bus. I miss my bicycle. I miss old silly celebrations. I miss all of that, which so went away from my life, and what could I do? Stand here in this long damped road and watch... Gaze till this end of horizon. I wish I could cry, cry like a child, just cry loudly, for no reason.

Everything changed so fast, I... I just don't wanna grow this fast. I can't! I can't stop here, this place is so strange. This life, I am finding happiness again. Memories that keeps me happy. Smells, tastes and dreams that still makes me smile. This pain in my head grew. I pressed the wound, just a bit of blood, seems its okay, its gonna be fine.Umm... I could smell it, the rain it starts. Its raining hard. It made my converse wet. I turned and started running, again, while it rained.

The Murderer Who Lived Among Us

What don't you have these days?, the whole world just a Google away, flashy iPhones, "awesome" police force, people cracking the origin of the universe. Amidst all that, someone among us got away with a nearly perfect crime. Something done with the precision of a diamond cutter - what is really an art. But the catch is that he got away with it - just that easily.

She - cheerful girl, jack-of-all-trades, smiles good. He was the most perfect guy in the class - Prince Charming, Class Topper and a guitar personality. And like in all usual Bollywood romances she fell for him. All this happened back in 11th grade. An year passed by. It happens to be so that she was madly falling for him and he was a monster in the making.

Scene 1

The day started with a phone call. She was desperate and restless and wanted to talk He asked her to come to the school. The place was empty as it was a Saturday. He took off in his bike and drove along the market place grabbing somethings. They met at the school entrance. Perfect day, he thought.

Scene 2

He asked her to come with him to the top of the school tower so that no one would see them. Unsuspectingly she walks with him. She could not control her emotions. Tears broke out as she told him that her marriage was being fix and would be engaged soon. Shocked, he thinks for sometime. Before he could stop thinking, she gave him the shivers. "I'm pregnant"-she said. P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T the words were like being told in slow-motion. The words took forever. He felt numb and deaf. Suddenly he talks and tell her that he needs more time, more time to think, "...its just 12th grade you know, I'm not ready for this". She had been crying since they climbed up the ladder. She refused. Cries became louder. In a split, he pushed her, down the 3-storied building.

Scene 3

She went down like a lead balloon. Crraaasssh!!! It sounded like she landed on a car. Beep-beep-beep the car alarm burglar alarm sound. His heart was pounding like its was going to rip down his cage and come out. Quick, he thought, climbed down the ladder with 3x speed. Took his biked with was tactically parked at a distance and drove back home. Just another day at the store. He hugged his mother and gave the groceries.

Scene 4

The sound of ambulance, impregnated the school premises. 3 days, she lay like the dead, doctors running in circles making prescriptions. She woke-up the fourth day. Like in a dream, she stared at everyone. She's lost it. She doesn't remember a thing. Not her name, not her school, her parents, and lucky not even him and the incident. She broke her elbow, multiple fractures  in both legs, injured jaw -  she was saved as she landed on that car. Luck did not all ditch her.

Finale

She is in a wheel chair pondering who she is? He parents takes care of her, still wondering why she jumped of the building. Her marriage was all doomed and their child, schooling - all took a big U turn.

He, topped his school, took the engineering entrance and studies happily back in Kerala.He trashed her and her memories, just like that. He still walks, sings, and laughs around us,  walks among us, quiet unnoticed and masked behind his true dark self.

No crime is perfect. It leaves trails behind, its natures rule. This story is written based on the experiences of a security who was at the school, that day. But no one believes him, 'cause he was the perfect little murderer.

My Big Fat Love Story

Ok, after much serious sessions of complex exchanges between my inner self - about the repercussions of this post, I actually made up my mind about this. I never thought this would happen to me - ever. Average little girl. They say love happens unknowingly. True, very much.

Is this feeling really called love? Something tingles your stomach when you think about her. You could sacrifice sleep, just to lay down and think about her. Felt like I live only just to see her. Why do someone like me, feel crazy for a girl that I've hardly even seen? This was a very strange feeling, something new and weird but I liked it. But nothing works out as in fairy tales. So many 'but' in this story.

I felt cornered from this world - alone, though I'm surrounded. When she talks to the whole world, I wished if she just smile at me. I felt alienated. I couldn't sleep. Music was my only hope. I wish I just could forget her and undo all these. But I could not stop thinking about her. Time is a strange concept, a doctor, a psychiatrist, a cure. It heals. But always, she will remain as my first crush.

Letter in Blood

This girl was one of the popular one in class, you could actually say, school too for so many reasons. All rounder maybe. And it was in 9th, when everything started. Everyone suddenly looked gorgeous. You know that feeling when, love is in the air. Anyway, there were three guys who were after this girl. And the day came when she knew about all these three, were in love and agreed to choose between them.

One of the contestant in the Swayamvara, a close friend, thought of expressing his love for her. Hormones maybe, anyway he managed to get this girls handkerchief and decided to write I Love You - in blood! Cool, everyone thought. So it began. We took a pin and pierced his fingers one by one...That wasn't easy you see. He didn't have so much blood. We could only complete the I and half of love with that. And came the next machine of pain, an old Gillette Blade. It was pain all right but no blood, that left lots of scars on his hand.

Oh, we were running out of time. So we had a secret plan, then someone took a geometry compass and punched one of the spectator. Blood, lots of blood. So we could happily complete the task. So it was completed. The great words in blood. Also, that poor guys blood was all over the place and that added beauty to the letter with splats and funky designs.

So after the school hours, he showed this to the girl. She stared for a second and walked away. Never realised that it was written in blood.

The next day she chose one of the other guys.

If I were that kite

I saw a kite flying by, so high that its just like a spot, though u could make it out as a kite. They are so free, flying high, nothing to fear. Being a predator is a damn easy job. What's so special, you hunt and get your prey. Being a kite will be fun, I guess - flying over the redeeming lands, traverse mountains and skim over the oceans, still enjoying a fresh catch. What do you u have to fear? I could have unlearned this worldly things. Relinquish my pain. Forget my past. What do I have to worry about? No politics, no war, no riots. Fly over the blue seamless horizon. But, one day, all of a sudden the hunter pulled his trigger. Blast! I was falling down. Damn! I'm Dead. Life ain't that easy my boy, it isn't.

My Philanthropist

He always looked shabby, wore a khaki shirt and shorts and a pair of old dirty slippers. He used to be a regular folk. Came mostly on thursdays. He had a big bag, always looked stuffed, and his hair had started turning gray. He was unique. My grandmother used to give him some coins usually whenever he came. It was like, a decade back I guess, I used to be at her back when ever I see this guy - maybe I was scared. At the end of the day, I fell sad for the poor soul, I used to wonder why everyone was so heartless, can't they just help him, give him some more money, I used to feel bad, angry at my parents.

I was in a bus station, with some friends recently. Pondering about things. A girl and her mother came asked for some money. She looked lean and thin. No one responded, not even me and continues our endless talks. When you look back, what difference did it make, still why blame someone, my philanthropist.