Conversations Of Time And Bird: Part 3

Suddenly you notice that dark side, the boundaries smudged into reality, more black than the darkest. Even the flashlights emitting black, like thick paint flowing in streams, reminiscent of headless pythons still bleeding through. Maybe you are just realizing the obvious presence that had been there since you saw blood. It's so invitingly black that you're almost already inside. Or maybe you always were.

**

Too many darks.

**

It's very dark.

Conversations Of Time And Bird: Part 2

Nature, do you think it exists?
What we think as nature is earth? What is not us?
Like the disasters.
But we are nature. We are the chaos.

But we create beautiful things. Like numbers.
And we use them for higher abstractions.
We build nature.
We change. We make change.
This is like the "way" things flow.
Like an equation, that is too far from our reach.

You see a girl, a hot one. She is hot because of years of natural selection. Purely random changes that creates a pattern.
The one which survives.
And one who gets the one from the other side.

We make art.
We define unique.
All this, out of this chaos.
Very, much like a picture painting itself.
Like a memetic conscience, that just got created out of nothingness.
Just pure beauty.

The Infinity Field

I had a name. Now it keeps slipping into darkness. Someone pulling one end of the infinite string, slowly dragging everything into the black sand, succumbing, silently. The feeling of emptiness, when all the million noises that never stopped — decided to. The feeling that nothing was ever real. A suit, shading everything, a suit that you controlled, a skin that you comfortably wear and take off, faking, not even trying to understand, listening to the distance, and not feeling what you ought to. The feeling of being alien on the inside. This can't be.

The things I believed, the emotions I trusted, the silence I loved were no longer the same, no longer mine. I found a door that opened to a bright white field, tall grass filling it till the horizons, smoke that floats up in the sky instead of the clouds. I found all this inside the darkness of these walls creeping all over, making boundaries, they tried to at least. Emerging out of a cocoon, breathing for the first time, like in the first rain. I felt what it is like to fly, without wings, without being told how to, without being any different. I tried to look at my hands and see the wrinkles, I tried to move my feet and feel the warmth of the dying sand. But I was not in the suit anymore, I was me. I found freedom, the very last inch of it. I met a man, I couldn't see his face because there was no light. 

I had lost track of time. I wandered around the place for days, without water or food, without anyone to bother me. This was the first living thing I saw back here. I listened to his stories the whole night. I didn't feel tired, I never felt like sleeping, you never need to sleep back here, or eat. I remembered what it was like to feel. The smell of the morning dew, the grass swaying with the wind, touching my skin. I kept listening to his voice for nights, like a lullaby, soothing, caring. I remembered. I saw my first sunrise that day — the green borders of the changing red. I wanted to sleep beside him. I could see his face while I closed my eyes... It was me.

Apocalypse

There are quite a few number of way to be the roulette ball that chooses what happens next in the alarming number of sequences intertwined into random utterings of subtle insults from someone living inside one's head. This is like telling me to forget what I already won't. At least for this lifetime.

All started with green, like most days. No one reads the warnings. I don't think there was one either. This however was meant to be. Like someday we would have gone there. There seems no legitimate reason, but exactly that might be the reason, a paradox written for me, flowing down with the hourglass' fine sand - the finest of all this earth.

I can still argue forever the reasons, build make-belief castles and snow cones and apple pies and hot sunny beaches to forget and be happy. But there is that safe-lock of memories from Inception, where that guy hides his darkness. No matter how hard you try, you come out different, like there is something less every time. You start trusting your ground, the one beneath the water because you felt it to be true, solid. It's not her fault, not really. There was this Moon's diurnal when I think about it. The one everyone usually forgets.

Following were some constant flashes of foam on top of saline and sand, people screaming which was like some Korean movie playing on mute. Yet, there was no tunnel and the whole light and then write a book kind of situation. What really happened was that everyday stuff and people saved another season, and I was just about in the middle. In the end, you feel purer, calmer, better, useful, mature, born. It is like cancelling the apocalypse, and then climbing to the head and shooting right between her eyes with the old sawed-off shotgun. This team did. 

The Watchmen

Hypothetical world has only one kind of job. To watch others. They change shifts, they switch places. One being watched becomes the one who is watching. They make records, logs. Then there are others, like a few hundred thousand billions, who support this enterprise. The ones who cook, the ones who manage and the ones who check. Then there are people. Like us. We are hidden. Living in darkness, under their cloud.

Forgotten, like we never even existed. Shutdown in this slum underneath. A world lit by the corporations that formed during the renaissance. They stand on our heads when people die. They die because of hunger and helplessness. They do not speak now. They do not cry either. They know their probable future and watch other eat the dead. Survival.

I see all this through this small hole I dug. I made it out of that place now! I can watch. I can watch everything. I can now.

Begin.

P.S: Read this in the voice of Tyler Durden.

Utopian Wonderland

Feeling like you are the only person in the world, like the rest of this place is made just for you. All that you see is a big setup, with intricate details, like the old huts, the LED tickers, all these commuters and vendors. The feeling of being detached, everything you see isn't what you thought it was. You lose track of reality and time, that something is quite not right. You realize and find everything to be strange, compelling to end this world in some way, like them taking over and burning everything down. That this whole thing was for you alone.

Spirals of white smoke and charred remains that makes you go places, to be there and to be never. You exist because of them, they are your life. You remove one by one, like you remove the bricks from your face, till that fades into thin air. You understand what it is to be wrong, when you thought it couldn't get any better. An explosia, a drum roll and voila. A dragon with no fire and a khaki-trousered-crazy. Where faint was a lifestyle, where you speak through veils and forget about the rest. And you thought this couldn't get any better? Right.

But this was strange enough, happening too fast that you don't even get time to take everything in. Constant, where there was no sense of mind. Or maybe this was what you were supposed to be. You find simple things to be the most fun. You find happiness and that alone. You forget that this world isn't real. You live inside that happiness, this small world, the simple one. Would you make this permanent?

And to Runaway

Since his beginning, man was that curious son who wandered around that great wilderness into the path of making. That guy, who lives inside almost everyone, forgotten and buried.

I sometimes feel like running away, without a reason, without telling anyone. Like the guy from Into the Wild, without anything to hold me back, without this never-passing dark cloud of burden, the chores and the monotone. Maybe not into the wild or to live in the mountains, but to be freed from all this fake emotions and noise, maybe never to return. To do whatever that I feel like, to not to answer to anyone, without liabilities and people to care for. 

To take that random bus and that last boat, to walk along the empty footbridge, to walk around the world in silence, without being noticed and called by my name. Runaway from this music, run faster from the existence. To hide among the crowd, to be that nomad. Being the camouflage, the homeless.

But how hard I try or decide, something holds me down. Something primitive - a fear inside. Fear that was the very definition of this life, that makes me do things. But running past everything? I don't know why, just being in the dark.

The Real Fight Club

That ardent urge to break your boss's nose, to get on that TV set with a baseball bat, to run very fast, to burn a building. Well, this happens in movies alright. But... in real world you end up being the one with the broken nose. You want to kill someone, but you can't. You want to beat you dog, because it didn't stop barking, but you can't. You want to take shit on your boss's wife, you want to stop faking smiles, you want to sleep in office, you want to sit still, you want to kick some guy on the train on his balls and ask him to shut up, but you can't. All this, anger, pain and frustration - builds up and your head explodes into tiny pieces, soaked in blood. But... it doesn't. Really.

Its the human way of finding closure. Being able to keep sane and be what he really is. Fake things and give it a smile. Be the real himself someone where else. Break a bone, kill a bug, or twist his ankle or something like that. The human ability to create alter egos, exist in them. To become monsters and wake up with a puppy face. Its his very own Fight Club. You really fight.

It could be his bathroom or maybe taking a long drive or diving into music or some metal or maybe ranting on twitter or crushing a hundred paper sheets or cutting down trees or air punching or pulling out hair or chocking himself with a polythene bag or eating, eating a lot or bungee jumping or skydiving or shouting at his dog or kicking a ball or screaming alone or sleeping or writing something or crying or being alone. Well, everyone finds their Fight Club one way or the other. Something that makes them feel better, something that makes them smile again, something that they could hold on to, like friends, random strangers on the internet or talking trees or your imaginary friend or maybe your pet squirrel. This is the real Fight Club. But they don't tell anyone, not even you.

The first rule of Fight Club is,  you do not talk about Fight Club. ~ Tyler Durden

Starship Bloopers

Hollywood movies were so exciting those days. This guy from school happened to have an Uncle who shipped him all sorts of movie CD's. It happened when we were in 9th. Thanks to our school, the last working day of every month is a half day. This happened to be one such day and what better to do that play football (Yeah, this is India and we call it Football and not Soccer, FYI).

So this CD guy got a new shipment and he gave a movie called the "Starship Troopers". Yay! Sci-fi movie!, we thought. So the plan was to meet at another friend's place, watch the movie, eat lunch and play some football. He kinda had a pretty big family living there. They cooked up some lunch and was waiting for us. So, we started the movie. Wonderful, action movie, we thought. We were served lunch with the pleasure of watching the movie.

More bugs, bombs, guns, grenades and killing. Dope!, we thought. We called in all his family, small kids, grand parents and cousins to enjoy the movie along with the lunch. There was a big crowd applauding to the bug killing (Well, this movie is actually about killing some giant alien bugs for living). Awesome atmosphere!, we thought.

Then, this guy and one another friend finished their lunch and went out to fill air in the football and he took the remote with him. While in the movie, they killed a big alien bug, I guess it was the alpha bug or something and the party began. Certain dialogue was the last thing I remember, "Go, enjoy boys!". Suddenly, the girl from the movie took her shirt off and was topless and started making out. That awkward moment. I stopped eating and was stoned. I got myself together and looked back. One guy was frantically searching for the remote, the guy behind me had a weird smile, most of the lady folk already left and this one guy was clinging outside the house by the window, watching. Two guys sitting in front of me never dared to look back and were enjoying everything.

The next few events took less than a minute. Everyone finished off their lunch and started playing football. Strange thing, I never knew we could eat this fast. We heard that dark things happened to the guy in the house. His mom also called up two other friends home and complained which was followed by some others getting grounded and all that. Luckily, I escaped without a scratch. Some family movie time that was My advice, never watch a movie with family. Btw, I dunno what happened to that CD. Really what happened to that CD?

The College, The Life and Whole Lot of Achaar.

Everything ends but nothing does actually. Its kind of a strange observation that people tend to miss something or someone even though they are connected via the phone or internet, like all the time I mean. So, for me, its an end to an era, of being happy, carefree and all that fun.

You see, there will be a time you actually think you don't belong here. But its more than that. You start to miss the silliest things, the lamest joke, your friends and this you. So, if you weren't here all the time, at least when I was here, this is for you.

The college part of this life is the same old sick joke, maybe. Boring lectures, assignments, crappy test, fights and all that running for internals. But the best things happen after that. Why this place was special was because of all there people over here. The hostel was the best thing happened. We lived outside the campus and 10 of us in a house. We were kicked out, reinstated, shifted and hell it was fun. Nights were the most adored stuff, fights and weird leg pulling. Life here was the shit and parties, God! Those late night preparations, long drives, late night eating at Ashtamudi. This life was all about do what you feel like doing. If you were not here, you missed it. Really you did.

Lot of things happen in the middle. If I start cribbing all of them, this will never end. And suddenly there was Achaar. There are many theories how Achaar was formed, it was impulsive, it just happened, just like that. The best part of Achaar was, no one knew nothing. No one sang, played any instruments or had some special talent. But we were different. Like the crowed loved whatever we did. Hell, they did. I dunno actually why, but they really did. Achaar was us, the group of like 10, who joined forces to do whatever we felt like. We were awesome.

If you were not here, you missed the forest, its lions, the stream, the ponds and the reckless paths around. You missed the mangoes and all those strange fruits that grew inside. You missed the last night preparations. You missed all that food, those day scholars brought and we ate. You missed throwing paper balls at the lecturer and each other. You missed the sleeping in the class. You missed telling lies to get all the money to buy ice-creams. You missed the crappy food from the canteen. You really missed our awesomest tours, our hideouts and surprise visits to some random friends house just to eat. You missed going for marriages of some stranger. You really missed just watching everyone in class. You really missed the hostel life. You missed the goondas. You missed stupid cocktails. You missed a lot of things, small things that made this place special, if you weren't with us. This place was fun. This place had life. We were.

Wherein Lies Her Memories

Stories I've told of my friends comes right from them. You get them some booze and bribe, and voila! They get you these things, wonderful stories. But this doesn't belong there. Everything began when there was this confess-your-love round  in the middle of the University Exam preparations.Usually for most of us here, studying is a mass effort.. Combined study exactly, as no one will have the textbooks or the notes. So it all works on photocopies, self-enlightenment and creative writing. 

Well, this piece is about a man, dressed in the worst and finds no time to bath, 'cause he thinks a lot, really! For this story to happen, we need to jog back exactly 1.75 decades back, the days in the kindergarten, when everything seems to be green, sunny and chocolate. He met his little girl. She lived next door, went in the same school bus. Sat together, ate together.  They became friends and more, they went and came back to and fro for six long years. He felt happy. They loved holding hands. But when you expect everything to be this perfect, entropy happens. This guys gets a kick in his head, and the next thing he knows is that she moved. The best of his days were over. The depression, the pain. Well, not exactly, when you are in 4th grade, everything goes away with some more chocolates, a milkshake and cartoons. Life!

So, when you think everything's over that easy, think again. This so called life, gave him a second chance, something to hold on to. After around 10 years from then, one fine day, she came back to his life. Well, at least the news. She asked about him to his Mom. This became significant in the calculation as this was repeated and she wanted to see him. But as usual, Mom forgot all about this and yeah, life! 

He picked up his phone and it was her. She called to say hi and to invite him for her marriage. Some second chance. His mind was hard to explain, desperate efforts to see her. Nothing worked. So on the day of marriage, that didn't even work. He was late and everything was over. But life, oh yeah, after the twists and turns, he finally got to met her. Engulfed in silence and smiles, the meeting was short lived. Whatever happened was blemished into a deep darker parts of his cerebellum. Facial hair growth recorded an all time high and 4 was the total count of days that he 'forgot' to bath. Life moved on, somehow.

Well, I don't know if this is a love story. But this, a requiem for her memories, the not so forgotten ones.

Laments Of My Soul

I ran , faster and faster, I tipped off a rock and fell down, I was running so fast that I couldn't see a thing. I bruised my forehead in the fall. I stood up, turned around, what am I missing here? I still have a heavy heart, what is happening to me? Chill of being alone, this place doesn't look familiar. This gravel road, with grass - seamless grass all around the path.I can't stop, I still have a long way to go. But, I miss so many things, I miss everything in my life, small things which made me happy. I'm not sad, but it doesn't feel right!

Well, they were right, I tried to change things but, the only thing changed was me. I miss my old friends, I miss innocence. I miss little takes in my life. I wish I could sleep all day, in my mom's lap. I wanna play with my dog. Sit along the playground with my friends and gaze at the trees and grass, dance to the wind. I miss those days when I used to pretend I was sick, and skip school, so that my mom and dad, would stay back home too. I miss school bus. I miss my bicycle. I miss old silly celebrations. I miss all of that, which so went away from my life, and what could I do? Stand here in this long damped road and watch... Gaze till this end of horizon. I wish I could cry, cry like a child, just cry loudly, for no reason.

Everything changed so fast, I... I just don't wanna grow this fast. I can't! I can't stop here, this place is so strange. This life, I am finding happiness again. Memories that keeps me happy. Smells, tastes and dreams that still makes me smile. This pain in my head grew. I pressed the wound, just a bit of blood, seems its okay, its gonna be fine.Umm... I could smell it, the rain it starts. Its raining hard. It made my converse wet. I turned and started running, again, while it rained.

And The Saga Continues

It's not lifeless its read Life Lex, Lex as in Lexical Analysis. Is that too tech? (Naaa, of course not) Well I felt like changing the name. Just felt like that, for no good reason. Or like it could be sound of vuvuzela + a cup of coffee and some crackers that made me do this. Well anyway, its like the story of the kid, who served old wine in new glass (not really), the main reason that I could actually point to this change is "O". Yeah, the thing after N, O, I missed "O" in my previous blog url, it was lyricsflife and not lyricsoflife as the later was taken by someone *sigh*. Anyway, this is gonna stay, for a while. And I'll try to blog soon :P

Blues All The Way, And A Double Too

I've been trying to write this post for a couple of days. But still, its hard to write a post amidst all these work, literally! Oh yeah, after like 4 years of waiting, The Blues won the English Premier League. There is no more Manchester United, no more Rooney Glory, 'cause we won the title. I hope this is a pretty good season for most of the teams I'm supporting, like Chennai Super Kings won the IPL and Rafa is on a run and hope to reclaim the Clay again.

 

 Chelsea,  what an end to the amazing season. The last match was a thriller, sheer domination, perfect way to end the season. This season actually could be one of the most exciting seasons, had its strange nky ways of twisting and turning till the last match, which was a death match for both of the table leaders. And the best team won! I'm happy for them. Happy for Drogba, happy for Terry and rest of the guys for having a record breaking 103 goal haul. 

Double, yeah right. (Piece of Cake) beating Portsmouth, thanks to Drogba yet again. On good thing that happened, is that I don't have to see those corny ManU fans! And guess what? I can crush 'em now, kick their asses and beat 'em till they plead for mercy, 'cause we the Blues are the new Gods. That's like awesome! I can't wait till I see those fools again.

Good work Chelsea, and the fans for giving such and amazing season! Truly "The Pride Of London".

See more of the celebration in Flickr

Story Of My Hair

The first thing now someone says to me is that,

What is your hair? Engineering style huh? 
Puthiya trend arikkum alle?
Man, guess there are no barbers in your place?
Poi mudi vettadaa!!!

And I just say, style :D - laughing inside - generation gap. In this free country I find it extremely hard to grow my own hair. My grandmother gives me strange looks like, I married a girl from some another caste - "Nalloru cherukkanarunnu, ippo kando, mudi-yum valathi branthane pole aayi" It's harder than I thought, its harder that automata languages and computations. What is this? Social stigma? Black Magic? Taboo?

Last day we had lab exam vivas and I was sitting eagerly for the first question, and the examiner asked me, "Why are u growing your hair?" Perplexed!!! I gave him a strange look. He gave me a look back and said, "Nalla kolam!!!". I guess he even lowered my scores for growing hair or was it the stare?

I never grew hair, always had a decent boy haircut. My mom always used to say, Go cut your hair, when the threshold had been reached and the regular visit to the barber shop. That guy should miss me by now! I even get strange comments always. People say a lot of things, some say its good and like "dude, freak look!!!" and some others say, "Mudi vettadaaa, kandittu oru branthane polundu".

I'll never in my life will grow hair again. I'll cut hair tomorrow.Two things that never come into my mind now. Guess what, grandmother gave me money to cut hair. I guess if I grow more hair, I'll earn more. At last  I found some use to all this hair. And for everyone's horror, I grew a goatee too. Well oh yeah, the goatee came before the long hair.

Anyways this is summer madness, and I'm in no mood to cut these locks now. Guess I should color it green now! I can imagine the look in my moms face already!

Complex Thoughts Of A Sleepless Mind

Still playing songs on shuffle mode. The battery never is gonna run out, I've plugged the mobile in.

I wonder how great this mobile thing is, you can talk, its wireless, camera, music, internet - twitter and what not! I rather wonder what the hell is this human brain. Awesome thing, it always makes me go crazy next to Christopher Nolan's films and food. They say they are gonna build a brain out of microprocessors. Hmm.. I wonder when I can buy a robo maid with a brain. Pretty cool. Well still its the human brain that actually makes this brain. So how can this be a brain - brain?

Umm. why am I thinking of all these totally random shit? I must sleep! It's already so late.

All this started with her. Think about her makes me like some insomniac.

Insomniac, hmm.. maybe that should be my new twitter handle. Half of they guys over here doesn't have a clue what twitter is. Maybe I should write an article about that or not, no one wants to read all that. Guess what?, if some girl writes it, probably everyone would be running around that, making all the fuss. I hate girls sometimes! Wonder what kind of complex creatures they are. Hard to understand they say. I wonder why!?


* beep beep beep* message alert, song pauses. Damn! who's messaging me at this hour? Damn freaks, don't they ever sleep. [Phone in silent mode - seamless music continues]


I like this song, suits my mood,

She seemed dressed in all of me,
stretched across my shame.
All the torments and the pain,
leak through and covered me.
I'd do anything to have her to myself,
just to have her for myself.
Now I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to do
When she makes me sad...

Why do they makes songs like this, sob sob I makes me feel sad again.


Know what?, I feel like I'm talking to 3 people right now, real me , my conscious and the other me :-O ? Well its funny sometimes when you have like a couple of different conscious-es :P Well when the next leave? I feel like sleeping whole day, some Insomniac - right!


Oh! I have classes tomorrow , damn. Lectures, theories are so boring these days, I feel like sleeping when I see their faces. Oh sleep zzZZzzzZZZZzzz

and I fell asleep, still the music shuffles.

The Avatar Day

Avatar, it took about 4 years to make the movie and another 9 years of planning and a humongous budget of about Rs. 2000 cr. Heard that James Cameron made up a new production and "invented" the technology for making the movie. My God!, besides all those hype, and a rating of 8+ in imdb, we decided to watch Avatar 3D back in Cochin. Well, after a quick completion of the week's classes, we were out there to watch Avatar.

It all started back in 19 December 2009 (:P), (the 2nd day of release of Avatar) when we boarded the train to Cochin. According to our planing specialist, we were expected to board a train at 12:00 am or like 1:00 am (like there is a big difference) and will be reaching Cochin around 5:00 am in the morning, which leaves us plenty of time for shower, breakfast and getting the tickets. Well, but nothing goes according to plan, as always. We got an earlier train this time, which was pretty much all empty. We got in and after a couple of stations, it went hay-wire, the completely empty train was crowded by pandi's. Everyone probably back from Sabrimala. Damn! all those noises and shouting and smell, gross. People were sleeping - on top, under the seat, besides the toilet, hanging down the window, and like in some yoga position.

And finally, Cochin, the fresh air... ahem. 5:00 am.

We made it to my Dad's place, had a couple of hours of sleep. Hit the shower and after a struggle around Cochin's very own traffic, we made it to Sreedar Cineplex. All those made us to quit the day's breakfast (like any other day in college) Oh no! we could see the long queue from the other side of the street. Aaaahhh! There was no screening on the first day? What? (there was no show on 18th because of some technical problem) That makes this show, the premier of Avatar 3D in Cochin. Great!!! :'(

By the time we reached the place, balcony was already full. No tickets in black. No nothing. There was more police than you can find in the stations and the tickets costs over a 100 bucks. Pheeeww... now whats next? Heading over the longer queues we found guys from college standing there for hours in that queue extending beyond the entrance to the theater. Poor boys. Probably we won't get tickets either, if we stand in there.

OK! time to think. The line was bent at the entrance to the ticket counter due to all those rush. Anyway (due to our widespread technical expertise in the field of ticket purchasing from years of painstaking experience, dude, we are engineers - at least!), we got a couple of our best guys into the line, just another trick up our sleeves! There was this police guy who was getting nuts by all the crowd, doing strange thing with his cane, more like in a Kung-fu movie. He wasn't allowing anyone to get near the counter, but our boys were in. That police guy gets more action-hungry when girls gets near, he beats all the dudes away, poor dudes! (like always the girls blame boys for all that). Finally after some constant texting and calls with our ticket-boys inside, we got 'em. Carrying those heavy bags on our back which was there from the staring of the trip, 'cause everyone was returning back for Christmas Holidays, it was just a pain in the ass. Well we got our tickets as everyone jumped in joy and enthusiasm. What? The seats were almost filled! We managed to move those poor guys at the front rows and finally got ourselves a front row seats. (moved a couple - here and there for getting consecutive seating) The movie started. Perfect. Everyone was spellbound. The 3D was so real too.

What-you-know!, we didn't go through all that for nothing. The movie was spect-a-cularly-fanta-bulous. Best in the year maybe!

Poor guys from our college, heard that they didn't get the tickets for the whole day's show, after being in that line like - forever.

My Big Fat Love Story

Ok, after much serious sessions of complex exchanges between my inner self - about the repercussions of this post, I actually made up my mind about this. I never thought this would happen to me - ever. Average little girl. They say love happens unknowingly. True, very much.

Is this feeling really called love? Something tingles your stomach when you think about her. You could sacrifice sleep, just to lay down and think about her. Felt like I live only just to see her. Why do someone like me, feel crazy for a girl that I've hardly even seen? This was a very strange feeling, something new and weird but I liked it. But nothing works out as in fairy tales. So many 'but' in this story.

I felt cornered from this world - alone, though I'm surrounded. When she talks to the whole world, I wished if she just smile at me. I felt alienated. I couldn't sleep. Music was my only hope. I wish I just could forget her and undo all these. But I could not stop thinking about her. Time is a strange concept, a doctor, a psychiatrist, a cure. It heals. But always, she will remain as my first crush.

Life was all about

Life was about love and hope. Life was about pancakes and butter.
Life was about sleeping and free food. Life was about rock music and black shirts.
Life was about ice-creams and chewing gum. Life was about cars and bicycle pedals.
Life was about rock-paper-scissors. Life was about Pepsi and pizza.
Life was about tubeless tyres and woofers. Life was about i-pods and jukeboxes.
Life was about Google and e books.
Life was about late night movies and attendance shortages.
Life was about music concerts and bus rides. Life was about twitter and dancing.
Life was about dumb jokes and murmurs. Life was about tattoos and vinyls.
Life was about red and blue. Life was about seasons and snacks.
Life was about places and dreams. Life was about home and puppies.
Life was about emails and post cards. Life was about coffee and honey.
Life was about push-ups and running late. Life was all about what life is.
Life was all out of control. Life was making me go its way. Life was fun. It still is.

Damn! I'm Gonna Be Dead

Damn! I'm Gonna Be Dead, I was drowned in blood. The car, I know this car. Its that car. My God, they found me. I saw the dagger which shove in the light. He walked towards me. This is it. This is the end. Are they going to kill me?


It was a Saturday, after a long gone week, I sat off to relax to find some rain. Ha! rain at last. It wasn't for long. It was a good short spell of rain. I backed on my camera and started off on my mom's Honda Activa. Clicking photos was fun when it rains, especially when the sun is on. The sun was already going to set. I heard a faint noise from the nearby place. I still remember that place. The wall had the election campaign on. The voices grew louder. It sounded like two of them, bullying someone. Something was indeed fishy about that. I kept the scooter near to the wall. There was a big mango tree near to that on the other side of the wall. I stood on the scooter a looked, standing comfortably behind the mango tree.

Holy Fish, someone was lying on the ground being beaten up. I could see blood. Quick thinking, I turned my camera on and took a photo. Damn, auto flash was on. In the scurry, I forgot to turn off the flash and the light was low. They should at me, and called someone. "Damn it! damn it!", I could hear my heart, pounding, - "Am I going to get a heart attack?". Gave the accelerator to the maximum. Took a shortcut, to keep off the track. Took all the random routes to home. Oh great, it was running out of fuel too. Took a left and went to the fuel station and got some refilling done. On the return path, I took the unusual routes to home. Finally,.... home. Sweet!

I could not stop thinking about that. I fell asleep on the bed. Time passed by, gradually I forgot that incident, and the photo did not reveal anything. It was all blurred and dark. The flash never helped too. What but I kept that photo for some reason. Rubbish stuff like that fill half of my Hard disk. Whatever.

Its been sometime, I was back with my life. Friday, a friend of mine rang up and we decided on a movie. On the way back, I dropped him near his house and started my ride back home. Something was really strange. I had a feeling of being followed. It was an MUV. Couldn't see anything else because of the light. I was getting scared. They were actually following me! But why me? I tried losing them, but still there were on trail.

Craaaassssshhh! The next thing I remember is that I'm lying on the road. I blacked out for a second. The car was parked in front of me. Damn! I'm Gonna Be Dead -I thought. I was feeling cold. I was drowned in blood. The car, I know this car. It's that car. The vinyl, its their car , that day, I took that photo. It had this strange face like vinyl on its sides. My God, the found me. How did they know it was me? Someone walked towards me. It was all dark. The light from the car was too bright. But still I could see the dagger it. shove in the light. He walked towards me. This is it. This is the end. Are the going to kill me? I got so scared. I couldn't think. I couldn't even scream. My head, it was so heavy.

Suddenly, out of the ordinary, I came back to my senses. Holy shit! What the hell am I doing here? Oh no! I'm sleeping in the bathroom? :-O ??