My Big Fat Love Story

Ok, after much serious sessions of complex exchanges between my inner self - about the repercussions of this post, I actually made up my mind about this. I never thought this would happen to me - ever. Average little girl. They say love happens unknowingly. True, very much.

Is this feeling really called love? Something tingles your stomach when you think about her. You could sacrifice sleep, just to lay down and think about her. Felt like I live only just to see her. Why do someone like me, feel crazy for a girl that I've hardly even seen? This was a very strange feeling, something new and weird but I liked it. But nothing works out as in fairy tales. So many 'but' in this story.

I felt cornered from this world - alone, though I'm surrounded. When she talks to the whole world, I wished if she just smile at me. I felt alienated. I couldn't sleep. Music was my only hope. I wish I just could forget her and undo all these. But I could not stop thinking about her. Time is a strange concept, a doctor, a psychiatrist, a cure. It heals. But always, she will remain as my first crush.

Life was all about

Life was about love and hope. Life was about pancakes and butter.
Life was about sleeping and free food. Life was about rock music and black shirts.
Life was about ice-creams and chewing gum. Life was about cars and bicycle pedals.
Life was about rock-paper-scissors. Life was about Pepsi and pizza.
Life was about tubeless tyres and woofers. Life was about i-pods and jukeboxes.
Life was about Google and e books.
Life was about late night movies and attendance shortages.
Life was about music concerts and bus rides. Life was about twitter and dancing.
Life was about dumb jokes and murmurs. Life was about tattoos and vinyls.
Life was about red and blue. Life was about seasons and snacks.
Life was about places and dreams. Life was about home and puppies.
Life was about emails and post cards. Life was about coffee and honey.
Life was about push-ups and running late. Life was all about what life is.
Life was all out of control. Life was making me go its way. Life was fun. It still is.

Letter in Blood

This girl was one of the popular one in class, you could actually say, school too for so many reasons. All rounder maybe. And it was in 9th, when everything started. Everyone suddenly looked gorgeous. You know that feeling when, love is in the air. Anyway, there were three guys who were after this girl. And the day came when she knew about all these three, were in love and agreed to choose between them.

One of the contestant in the Swayamvara, a close friend, thought of expressing his love for her. Hormones maybe, anyway he managed to get this girls handkerchief and decided to write I Love You - in blood! Cool, everyone thought. So it began. We took a pin and pierced his fingers one by one...That wasn't easy you see. He didn't have so much blood. We could only complete the I and half of love with that. And came the next machine of pain, an old Gillette Blade. It was pain all right but no blood, that left lots of scars on his hand.

Oh, we were running out of time. So we had a secret plan, then someone took a geometry compass and punched one of the spectator. Blood, lots of blood. So we could happily complete the task. So it was completed. The great words in blood. Also, that poor guys blood was all over the place and that added beauty to the letter with splats and funky designs.

So after the school hours, he showed this to the girl. She stared for a second and walked away. Never realised that it was written in blood.

The next day she chose one of the other guys.

Damn! I'm Gonna Be Dead

Damn! I'm Gonna Be Dead, I was drowned in blood. The car, I know this car. Its that car. My God, they found me. I saw the dagger which shove in the light. He walked towards me. This is it. This is the end. Are they going to kill me?


It was a Saturday, after a long gone week, I sat off to relax to find some rain. Ha! rain at last. It wasn't for long. It was a good short spell of rain. I backed on my camera and started off on my mom's Honda Activa. Clicking photos was fun when it rains, especially when the sun is on. The sun was already going to set. I heard a faint noise from the nearby place. I still remember that place. The wall had the election campaign on. The voices grew louder. It sounded like two of them, bullying someone. Something was indeed fishy about that. I kept the scooter near to the wall. There was a big mango tree near to that on the other side of the wall. I stood on the scooter a looked, standing comfortably behind the mango tree.

Holy Fish, someone was lying on the ground being beaten up. I could see blood. Quick thinking, I turned my camera on and took a photo. Damn, auto flash was on. In the scurry, I forgot to turn off the flash and the light was low. They should at me, and called someone. "Damn it! damn it!", I could hear my heart, pounding, - "Am I going to get a heart attack?". Gave the accelerator to the maximum. Took a shortcut, to keep off the track. Took all the random routes to home. Oh great, it was running out of fuel too. Took a left and went to the fuel station and got some refilling done. On the return path, I took the unusual routes to home. Finally,.... home. Sweet!

I could not stop thinking about that. I fell asleep on the bed. Time passed by, gradually I forgot that incident, and the photo did not reveal anything. It was all blurred and dark. The flash never helped too. What but I kept that photo for some reason. Rubbish stuff like that fill half of my Hard disk. Whatever.

Its been sometime, I was back with my life. Friday, a friend of mine rang up and we decided on a movie. On the way back, I dropped him near his house and started my ride back home. Something was really strange. I had a feeling of being followed. It was an MUV. Couldn't see anything else because of the light. I was getting scared. They were actually following me! But why me? I tried losing them, but still there were on trail.

Craaaassssshhh! The next thing I remember is that I'm lying on the road. I blacked out for a second. The car was parked in front of me. Damn! I'm Gonna Be Dead -I thought. I was feeling cold. I was drowned in blood. The car, I know this car. It's that car. The vinyl, its their car , that day, I took that photo. It had this strange face like vinyl on its sides. My God, the found me. How did they know it was me? Someone walked towards me. It was all dark. The light from the car was too bright. But still I could see the dagger it. shove in the light. He walked towards me. This is it. This is the end. Are the going to kill me? I got so scared. I couldn't think. I couldn't even scream. My head, it was so heavy.

Suddenly, out of the ordinary, I came back to my senses. Holy shit! What the hell am I doing here? Oh no! I'm sleeping in the bathroom? :-O ??

The boy who loved

He was waiting at the bus stop for the next bus involved in some natural talents like birdwatching and sight seeing around the place. Being a Saturday morning had many girls ready to go for those awful tuition classes, mostly everyone when by the bus. Anyways, as a matter of fact He was going for the same thing too. It was a day that was going to change his life for ever.His eyes were glued on this girl, gazing, like she came beyond this planet. And this guy could be called an eye-a-holic even. As he watched by, she got in the next bus.


Love lasts so long because we are gradually learning more and more about the initial personality that one fell in love with at first sight. He was determined to get what he wanted. Couldn't wait for the sun the next day! Came to the bus stop to find her. They say that, Patience is not only a virtue, but an acquired trait. Still could be even his instinct to wait for someone for so long. She came in pink. He couldn't resist asking her name. But still his mind said no. Carp!

A week passed on its own. Next saturday, he came with a friend. And then it happened. She was a friend of his friend's friend. Damn connections that makes life easier or maybe just his luck. That made things easier. He came to know her name. He phone number even. And finally called her. He even managed to get a photo of her from his friend.

Then it happened. College, he got admission for engineering and she was going to pursue degree. Even he thought of joining her college, just for her. He did even give the admission forms to join that college to her. But fate, changed it all. And the fact that she was Muslim, seized his dream run. Everything was limited to just seldom phone calls and dreams and love songs, normally Oru Venal Puzhayil...from the Malayalam movie Pranayakalam, 'cause he believed that it resembled his life!

Once Charlie Chaplin said, "Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even your worries". I always feel that's so true. Times changed, the race against the syllabus had less time for his emotions.

It spread like the swine flu in our hostel rooms. His love was going to get married!

Married? Yeah, she is going to get married, its fixed. - he said.

He smiled. He left. I knew his heart. Following days, he seemed happy and normal. True love is hard to leave behind. Still its not all going in your favour. Her marriage was a couple of days ago.

Once Charlie Chaplin said, "Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even your worries".

This is not my story. It's my friends. His love. I think I shouldn't reveal who. Anyway, I'm writing for him. True love is hard to leave behind.

If I were that kite

I saw a kite flying by, so high that its just like a spot, though u could make it out as a kite. They are so free, flying high, nothing to fear. Being a predator is a damn easy job. What's so special, you hunt and get your prey. Being a kite will be fun, I guess - flying over the redeeming lands, traverse mountains and skim over the oceans, still enjoying a fresh catch. What do you u have to fear? I could have unlearned this worldly things. Relinquish my pain. Forget my past. What do I have to worry about? No politics, no war, no riots. Fly over the blue seamless horizon. But, one day, all of a sudden the hunter pulled his trigger. Blast! I was falling down. Damn! I'm Dead. Life ain't that easy my boy, it isn't.

Change is good

When I walk this road again, I see an evident change. A positive change, people are changing for good. This new life gives me a hope of a better land. It's not all our fault, we are a generation raised by another wrong generation. Some of which had instilled the creepiest feelings into this young minds, making another work turn. It's not all our fault that we cripple upon corruption and that we are biased, we are raised like that. A generation raised by a wrong one. An old generation with an their ideas that were wise, maybe fair when they walked. Times changed, let people change for good. Shouldn't everyone realise something? They're happy with their life. Earns some job, owns a car, goes out and party. Everyone is happy with what they have, just like that. Slaves of this society, I say. Break free, have a fight, do something that you always wanted to do, try something different that makes you smile. Like that ad said, Reclaim your Life, just because we should change for good.

A bomb is made to explode, that's it's meaning, it's purpose, you're life is empty because you spend it trying to stop the bomb from becoming a bomb and for who, for what?. Do you know, what a bomb is that doesn't explode, its a cheap gold watch, just a cheap gold watch buddy!

Gimme a gun right now!

I'm sweating when I'm writing this, still the ceiling fan is on full speed. It's not about the heat, I dunno why. I had this feeling, a feeling that I can't explain. If someone hand me a gun right now, I'll go out and kill all those politicians and leaders who rule this nation. Kill them all, spare no one. Why? would you ask yourselves this question? Why? Why live in such a land where they live happily and have some lame excuse for all the happening. It's everyone's land, not theirs alone. They get to sit safely, we are the ones who suffer. Watch your loved ones vanish in some train accident or a riot or some terrorist attack. Still they don't do anything, do they?

You may have a kid to raise, a family to look after. I'm may be same after sometime. Excuses for not doing what i felt now for my motherland, this corrupted nation. Doesn't change a thing. Adjusts with this society, silently giving up.

So I say, hand me a gun right now!

My Philanthropist

He always looked shabby, wore a khaki shirt and shorts and a pair of old dirty slippers. He used to be a regular folk. Came mostly on thursdays. He had a big bag, always looked stuffed, and his hair had started turning gray. He was unique. My grandmother used to give him some coins usually whenever he came. It was like, a decade back I guess, I used to be at her back when ever I see this guy - maybe I was scared. At the end of the day, I fell sad for the poor soul, I used to wonder why everyone was so heartless, can't they just help him, give him some more money, I used to feel bad, angry at my parents.

I was in a bus station, with some friends recently. Pondering about things. A girl and her mother came asked for some money. She looked lean and thin. No one responded, not even me and continues our endless talks. When you look back, what difference did it make, still why blame someone, my philanthropist.

Our damn day out

11:30 pm
some date
Sunday , night

Phone rings...

rish: hello.. whatz up?
me: nothin much,
rish: dude!, whatz the plan for tomoro?
me: i have some stuff...a marriage to attend!
rish: there a tech fest in TCE.., ru comin??
me: hmm...
rish: cm'on everyonez there...
me: well i already with somethings here..
rish: come on now! everyonez on!
me. ok..i'll try!
rish: don't try, come early this time!
 

I woke up around 5:00 am. Waking up is like hell! Man i hate waking up like most of "us" and there is a guy in my hostel who wakes up just as his alarm sounds. I wonder how he does that! Everybody has some talent -right!Anyways... I'm an 8'O clock'r usually, due to classes, damn they start at 9am. Oh!

Ah!, well with the story now, after all those waking up story, I got up a bus and reached the hostel. Reaching this is itself a herculean task. The buses are so crowed especially on Monday mornings no matter what time it is. Can't all these people sit at home and relax maybe.

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Crap!, i reached the hostel to find everyone still on bed at 8:30am! Pull'd everyone down, got everyone up - right after half an hour of battel over the beds. Another gruesome wait to get everyone inside the damn jeans and stuff.

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Usually we go for all these "Tech Fests" to play games - online gaming contests and sometimes some debugging stuff. Our way of finding the way out of the boring lecture hours, u could say.

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 My God! Exclaimed someone at back. I seems we have to go further from here. It was already a damn bus ride, narrow roads, croweded by natures lushness and green everywhere and not a soul in sight. Who will build such a college, at such a place? Now we have to taravel like 30 more minutes in bus that come once in a lifetime -sort of. Finally a bus came, got it and came to some junction, supposed to be where the college is. Nothing - seems like the middle of nowhere. Suddenly a Yamaha came from no where, asked for directions and the college is still 2kms and we have to walk up. Whatever, what can we do, walked and finally -land!

Sweet fruits of victory, the smell of hope, the feeling of being at top of the world we found the college at last. Guys, come on - there is the reception! A girl at the reception told that there wasn't any events left except for debate or something! Oh! crap. Yeah it 2:40pm all right.

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Lets go and eat something and think later. The canteen was near by, the only place you can find to get something to eat in miles. Maybe they should name it "The Oasis or something". "Only biriyani left". Ok whatever, it did even cost than usual. Its better not to say anything about the dish. Somehow everyone finished up -hunger killed my taste buds.

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What did we do that day? Travel half a ton just to eat a biriyani?