Monday, August 27, 2012

And to Runaway

Since his beginning, man was that curious son who wandered around that great wilderness into the path of making. That guy, who lives inside almost everyone, forgotten and buried.

I sometimes feel like running away, without a reason, without telling anyone. Like the guy from Into the Wild, without anything to hold me back, without this never-passing dark cloud of burden, the chores and the monotone. Maybe not into the wild or to live in the mountains, but to be freed from all this fake emotions and noise, maybe never to return. To do whatever that I feel like, to not to answer to anyone, without liabilities and people to care for. 

To take that random bus and that last boat, to walk along the empty footbridge, to walk around the world in silence, without being noticed and called by my name. Runaway from this music, run faster from the existence. To hide among the crowd, to be that nomad. Being the camouflage, the homeless.

But how hard I try or decide, something holds me down. Something primitive - a fear inside. Fear that was the very definition of this life, that makes me do things. But running past everything? I don't know why, just being in the dark.