Wherein Lies Her Memories

Stories I've told of my friends comes right from them. You get them some booze and bribe, and voila! They get you these things, wonderful stories. But this doesn't belong there. Everything began when there was this confess-your-love round  in the middle of the University Exam preparations.Usually for most of us here, studying is a mass effort.. Combined study exactly, as no one will have the textbooks or the notes. So it all works on photocopies, self-enlightenment and creative writing. 

Well, this piece is about a man, dressed in the worst and finds no time to bath, 'cause he thinks a lot, really! For this story to happen, we need to jog back exactly 1.75 decades back, the days in the kindergarten, when everything seems to be green, sunny and chocolate. He met his little girl. She lived next door, went in the same school bus. Sat together, ate together.  They became friends and more, they went and came back to and fro for six long years. He felt happy. They loved holding hands. But when you expect everything to be this perfect, entropy happens. This guys gets a kick in his head, and the next thing he knows is that she moved. The best of his days were over. The depression, the pain. Well, not exactly, when you are in 4th grade, everything goes away with some more chocolates, a milkshake and cartoons. Life!

So, when you think everything's over that easy, think again. This so called life, gave him a second chance, something to hold on to. After around 10 years from then, one fine day, she came back to his life. Well, at least the news. She asked about him to his Mom. This became significant in the calculation as this was repeated and she wanted to see him. But as usual, Mom forgot all about this and yeah, life! 

He picked up his phone and it was her. She called to say hi and to invite him for her marriage. Some second chance. His mind was hard to explain, desperate efforts to see her. Nothing worked. So on the day of marriage, that didn't even work. He was late and everything was over. But life, oh yeah, after the twists and turns, he finally got to met her. Engulfed in silence and smiles, the meeting was short lived. Whatever happened was blemished into a deep darker parts of his cerebellum. Facial hair growth recorded an all time high and 4 was the total count of days that he 'forgot' to bath. Life moved on, somehow.

Well, I don't know if this is a love story. But this, a requiem for her memories, the not so forgotten ones.

Random Insanities

Do you believe that everything happens with a purpose?

Do you believe, all these things in the world, everything happens with a purpose? Everything has a clear future, a strong past and is being led by some string? The clock ticks for a reason? The dog pees for a reason? MY dog pees for a reason :P :O ?? I tweet for a reason? The phone rings for a reason? Reason? Reason?

How can someone expect a reason for all this randomness. This world of epic entropy and nearly nothing but random things happening at random times. People fight for a reason, believing someone made these things and makes them do what they do for a reason. The same reason for there is no reason. 

Random, nothing happens for a reason. Nothing, and I mean it. Think about these terms: chance, entropy, probability, predictability. There is no reason, there is just man's desperate effort to make order out of chaos, but the last man standing is entropy. People try to relate the past into future, making reason for the incidents, pointing the finger at patterns, there is no such thing, but just a probability distribution. If you really want to respect something or someone, respect time, the concept as strange and expense as it sounds, the master of all games. 

What is the reason behind me writing this? No reason, just another random thing in my life and I like to believe it that way. There is nothing behind anything, no purpose, no destiny, but we make them they way they are now. We do things, we make destiny. 

Do you believe in purpose? Do you believe, everything happens for a reason? Do you believe in destiny? Think again...

This world is random. This world is insane. This world is entropy.

I throw a Die, this Random Insanities.

The Dream Is Real

Have you ever thought about yourself? This place we live in? All these people? All this mess and this sounds? What if, all these is just another dream? I always had that tough about this life, time travel, space vortex, Einstein, dreams, and I always wondered, what if we wake up from a dream when we die? A dream within a dream? An endless array of dreams? I had thought about this many times in my ever-weird-insomniac-bedtimes.

But, after watching Inception, I was like huh?And then like what? And then like umm, wait a minute!! What happened? How did I get here? Honestly, even after 24 hours, I still can't really keep off Inception. It's because I admire such cult movies a lot. And for those who still blames the movie to be over done with twists and turns, well, Nolan really wants the audience to participate in the process of unfolding, he appeals to think and to think good enough to keep up with the heist. I like his way to telling the story, rather than just being a dumb spectator.

The aftermath of this adventure was the real thing! My mind was clueless and still is on the path of recovery. My mind feels being turned, twisted and being pull out and stretched into layers. I felt numb, and going around and around in some timeless vortex. I felt claustrophobic. I felt like being carried away by an alien UFO light. powered abduction thingy! I felt wandering  in someone else's dream. Suddenly everyone was staring at me. I felt like, I'm gonna lose it! Gulp! I emptied a bottle of Coke. Sigh! It still feels the same. I tried music,  dunno how many songs I played, tried changing the topic and started talking with friends but none could keep Inception out of my mind.

"Dreams feel real while we're in them. It's only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange." - I felt the same. Something was strange.

"What's the most resilient parasite? An Idea. A single idea from the human mind can build cities. An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules. Which is why I have to steal it." -  This is what the movie revolves around. Playing with dreams, dreams inside dreams, and to extract information while someone is asleep. But this time, the job was to plant and idea, an Inception!

"You're asking me for Inception. I hope you do understand the gravity of that request"

At the moment, I'm trying to get over this movie. It that kind of movie that makes you watch it a couple more time, 'cause you don't see many details at the first watch and makes you to love the plot more. I dunno how he does that, but he is one of the best story tellers in the business. BTW, for those who are easily taken by movies, don't watch this, it may cause suicidal tendencies. What if this is all real? Or is this really a dream?

Well at the end of it, one thing is for sure,  - for one's who actually enjoyed the movie, Nolan was very successful in implanting his idea into those millions. His very own Inception.

Laments Of My Soul

I ran , faster and faster, I tipped off a rock and fell down, I was running so fast that I couldn't see a thing. I bruised my forehead in the fall. I stood up, turned around, what am I missing here? I still have a heavy heart, what is happening to me? Chill of being alone, this place doesn't look familiar. This gravel road, with grass - seamless grass all around the path.I can't stop, I still have a long way to go. But, I miss so many things, I miss everything in my life, small things which made me happy. I'm not sad, but it doesn't feel right!

Well, they were right, I tried to change things but, the only thing changed was me. I miss my old friends, I miss innocence. I miss little takes in my life. I wish I could sleep all day, in my mom's lap. I wanna play with my dog. Sit along the playground with my friends and gaze at the trees and grass, dance to the wind. I miss those days when I used to pretend I was sick, and skip school, so that my mom and dad, would stay back home too. I miss school bus. I miss my bicycle. I miss old silly celebrations. I miss all of that, which so went away from my life, and what could I do? Stand here in this long damped road and watch... Gaze till this end of horizon. I wish I could cry, cry like a child, just cry loudly, for no reason.

Everything changed so fast, I... I just don't wanna grow this fast. I can't! I can't stop here, this place is so strange. This life, I am finding happiness again. Memories that keeps me happy. Smells, tastes and dreams that still makes me smile. This pain in my head grew. I pressed the wound, just a bit of blood, seems its okay, its gonna be fine.Umm... I could smell it, the rain it starts. Its raining hard. It made my converse wet. I turned and started running, again, while it rained.

And The Saga Continues

It's not lifeless its read Life Lex, Lex as in Lexical Analysis. Is that too tech? (Naaa, of course not) Well I felt like changing the name. Just felt like that, for no good reason. Or like it could be sound of vuvuzela + a cup of coffee and some crackers that made me do this. Well anyway, its like the story of the kid, who served old wine in new glass (not really), the main reason that I could actually point to this change is "O". Yeah, the thing after N, O, I missed "O" in my previous blog url, it was lyricsflife and not lyricsoflife as the later was taken by someone *sigh*. Anyway, this is gonna stay, for a while. And I'll try to blog soon :P

If You Are Not Watching This

If you are not watching the 19th edition of the largest sports phenomenon, yeah the FIFA World Cup 2010 - South Africa, you are probably stuck half way on the Mount Everest or maybe hanging down a bungee, that the rest of the crew left for South Africa or maybe you are dozed off by a tranquilizer, where the guy misjudged you to be a wild kangaroo or maybe you are running a never ending marathon or maybe you are so in deep trouble, where those guys don't give you a TV or a remote or maybe you are a victim of the-never-ending-war-for-tv-remote-between-mom-sister-cousins-and-the-dog kind of situation or maybe you are pregnant or maybe you are a die hard cricket fan, and you don't realize that the world is spinning around the sun or maybe you could be even dead or might be sleeping!

Wake up dude! It's happening the FIFA World Cup and its happening in, what is believed to the birth place of humankind, and this is seen as "returning home, to Africa". South Africa hosting its dream tournament which is its big break to attract the world and to take the next step in development, and the event is huge supporter of education. What are you waiting for? Kick your mother off the wicked TV soaps and go tune into this epic event!

Balloon In Flavours

I always like to blog about my friend's experiences. Stories they tell me, love, hate, embarrassment, lose - whatever. This is yet another true story.

Protagonist is a fellow being, who confessed this in the strangest of times, dunno why, but still it makes a wonderful subject for my blog. This happened when he was a little bit more younger, like say make 7 years from now. The cities monotone made him to enjoy the family get-together's, usually packed with cousins and friends and kids of his age. That's a probable relief from school.

To add up to the fun, it was his youngest uncle's after-marriage-math hours. The couple wedded 4 days ago and this being a Sunday, had the whole family down pour for party. This gave the lady folk yet another opportunity to blabber till eternity and the gents to do some talks too about the effects of - "Poverty after marriage" and "The Political Roller-coaster" , not to mention the "occasional" drinks. In short it was a fun-filled-all-talk-full-rubbish-awesome-big-fat-Indian-semi-wedding-reception-party-with-lots-of-kids-to-play-around like situation. 

These pack of kids where running around frantically to find new things to do. To be in limelight. They were running around the place, not knowing what to do, reminds me of the Sea-gulls in Finding Nemo :P. Anyways, the restless search around the house ended in finding a pack of balloons. Cool, he thought, and started blowing it up. It became big, really big and was kind of strange looking too. 

The delighted pack of monkeys, started making the most out of it. They played a round of football, and then some tennis, and some rugby and some more cricket and some ping-pong and to end it with a dodge ball session with the balloon of course! They ran across the corridor where the adult folks were having their part of the share.

Suddenly, everything went so quiet, dead quiet. It was like America has just dropped down another Little Boy, this time, without a sound. Every pair of eyes where glued on the kids and the balloon. The masculines gave the ladies a strange stare. In a split second, the kids where shooed away and the balloon was thrown away. They poor kids went, perplexed. What the boy didn't know was, that was a condom!

Blues All The Way, And A Double Too

I've been trying to write this post for a couple of days. But still, its hard to write a post amidst all these work, literally! Oh yeah, after like 4 years of waiting, The Blues won the English Premier League. There is no more Manchester United, no more Rooney Glory, 'cause we won the title. I hope this is a pretty good season for most of the teams I'm supporting, like Chennai Super Kings won the IPL and Rafa is on a run and hope to reclaim the Clay again.

 

 Chelsea,  what an end to the amazing season. The last match was a thriller, sheer domination, perfect way to end the season. This season actually could be one of the most exciting seasons, had its strange nky ways of twisting and turning till the last match, which was a death match for both of the table leaders. And the best team won! I'm happy for them. Happy for Drogba, happy for Terry and rest of the guys for having a record breaking 103 goal haul. 

Double, yeah right. (Piece of Cake) beating Portsmouth, thanks to Drogba yet again. On good thing that happened, is that I don't have to see those corny ManU fans! And guess what? I can crush 'em now, kick their asses and beat 'em till they plead for mercy, 'cause we the Blues are the new Gods. That's like awesome! I can't wait till I see those fools again.

Good work Chelsea, and the fans for giving such and amazing season! Truly "The Pride Of London".

See more of the celebration in Flickr

The Murderer Who Lived Among Us

What don't you have these days?, the whole world just a Google away, flashy iPhones, "awesome" police force, people cracking the origin of the universe. Amidst all that, someone among us got away with a nearly perfect crime. Something done with the precision of a diamond cutter - what is really an art. But the catch is that he got away with it - just that easily.

She - cheerful girl, jack-of-all-trades, smiles good. He was the most perfect guy in the class - Prince Charming, Class Topper and a guitar personality. And like in all usual Bollywood romances she fell for him. All this happened back in 11th grade. An year passed by. It happens to be so that she was madly falling for him and he was a monster in the making.

Scene 1

The day started with a phone call. She was desperate and restless and wanted to talk He asked her to come to the school. The place was empty as it was a Saturday. He took off in his bike and drove along the market place grabbing somethings. They met at the school entrance. Perfect day, he thought.

Scene 2

He asked her to come with him to the top of the school tower so that no one would see them. Unsuspectingly she walks with him. She could not control her emotions. Tears broke out as she told him that her marriage was being fix and would be engaged soon. Shocked, he thinks for sometime. Before he could stop thinking, she gave him the shivers. "I'm pregnant"-she said. P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T the words were like being told in slow-motion. The words took forever. He felt numb and deaf. Suddenly he talks and tell her that he needs more time, more time to think, "...its just 12th grade you know, I'm not ready for this". She had been crying since they climbed up the ladder. She refused. Cries became louder. In a split, he pushed her, down the 3-storied building.

Scene 3

She went down like a lead balloon. Crraaasssh!!! It sounded like she landed on a car. Beep-beep-beep the car alarm burglar alarm sound. His heart was pounding like its was going to rip down his cage and come out. Quick, he thought, climbed down the ladder with 3x speed. Took his biked with was tactically parked at a distance and drove back home. Just another day at the store. He hugged his mother and gave the groceries.

Scene 4

The sound of ambulance, impregnated the school premises. 3 days, she lay like the dead, doctors running in circles making prescriptions. She woke-up the fourth day. Like in a dream, she stared at everyone. She's lost it. She doesn't remember a thing. Not her name, not her school, her parents, and lucky not even him and the incident. She broke her elbow, multiple fractures  in both legs, injured jaw -  she was saved as she landed on that car. Luck did not all ditch her.

Finale

She is in a wheel chair pondering who she is? He parents takes care of her, still wondering why she jumped of the building. Her marriage was all doomed and their child, schooling - all took a big U turn.

He, topped his school, took the engineering entrance and studies happily back in Kerala.He trashed her and her memories, just like that. He still walks, sings, and laughs around us,  walks among us, quiet unnoticed and masked behind his true dark self.

No crime is perfect. It leaves trails behind, its natures rule. This story is written based on the experiences of a security who was at the school, that day. But no one believes him, 'cause he was the perfect little murderer.

Story Of My Hair

The first thing now someone says to me is that,

What is your hair? Engineering style huh? 
Puthiya trend arikkum alle?
Man, guess there are no barbers in your place?
Poi mudi vettadaa!!!

And I just say, style :D - laughing inside - generation gap. In this free country I find it extremely hard to grow my own hair. My grandmother gives me strange looks like, I married a girl from some another caste - "Nalloru cherukkanarunnu, ippo kando, mudi-yum valathi branthane pole aayi" It's harder than I thought, its harder that automata languages and computations. What is this? Social stigma? Black Magic? Taboo?

Last day we had lab exam vivas and I was sitting eagerly for the first question, and the examiner asked me, "Why are u growing your hair?" Perplexed!!! I gave him a strange look. He gave me a look back and said, "Nalla kolam!!!". I guess he even lowered my scores for growing hair or was it the stare?

I never grew hair, always had a decent boy haircut. My mom always used to say, Go cut your hair, when the threshold had been reached and the regular visit to the barber shop. That guy should miss me by now! I even get strange comments always. People say a lot of things, some say its good and like "dude, freak look!!!" and some others say, "Mudi vettadaaa, kandittu oru branthane polundu".

I'll never in my life will grow hair again. I'll cut hair tomorrow.Two things that never come into my mind now. Guess what, grandmother gave me money to cut hair. I guess if I grow more hair, I'll earn more. At last  I found some use to all this hair. And for everyone's horror, I grew a goatee too. Well oh yeah, the goatee came before the long hair.

Anyways this is summer madness, and I'm in no mood to cut these locks now. Guess I should color it green now! I can imagine the look in my moms face already!

And Now I Remember

Actually I was trying to post a new entry for sometime now, but it keeps being pushed away due to strange reasons. Anyway, there was no quiet reason for writing this anyway. It summer anyway and heat is awesome, it makes me do strange things. I'm single now. Thinking about all those beautiful girls that passed through my life, I'm happy to remain single still.:P

One day some guy asked me whether my blog was for real? The things posted were all true. Well I its part fiction part reality. Oh wait, its real all right, but since the world actually sometimes peeks into this blog, I try to confine things rather to a safe margin.

Well this weather is actually awesomely-bad. I sick of this heat. Well anyway, it gives me uninterrupted supply of fresh fruits, lots of juices and cold drinks and the ice-creams.  That's cool.

Btw, why am I writing this again, yeah Now I Remember,  I'm single again, thanks to Summer heat. :-O

Complex Thoughts Of A Sleepless Mind

Still playing songs on shuffle mode. The battery never is gonna run out, I've plugged the mobile in.

I wonder how great this mobile thing is, you can talk, its wireless, camera, music, internet - twitter and what not! I rather wonder what the hell is this human brain. Awesome thing, it always makes me go crazy next to Christopher Nolan's films and food. They say they are gonna build a brain out of microprocessors. Hmm.. I wonder when I can buy a robo maid with a brain. Pretty cool. Well still its the human brain that actually makes this brain. So how can this be a brain - brain?

Umm. why am I thinking of all these totally random shit? I must sleep! It's already so late.

All this started with her. Think about her makes me like some insomniac.

Insomniac, hmm.. maybe that should be my new twitter handle. Half of they guys over here doesn't have a clue what twitter is. Maybe I should write an article about that or not, no one wants to read all that. Guess what?, if some girl writes it, probably everyone would be running around that, making all the fuss. I hate girls sometimes! Wonder what kind of complex creatures they are. Hard to understand they say. I wonder why!?


* beep beep beep* message alert, song pauses. Damn! who's messaging me at this hour? Damn freaks, don't they ever sleep. [Phone in silent mode - seamless music continues]


I like this song, suits my mood,

She seemed dressed in all of me,
stretched across my shame.
All the torments and the pain,
leak through and covered me.
I'd do anything to have her to myself,
just to have her for myself.
Now I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to do
When she makes me sad...

Why do they makes songs like this, sob sob I makes me feel sad again.


Know what?, I feel like I'm talking to 3 people right now, real me , my conscious and the other me :-O ? Well its funny sometimes when you have like a couple of different conscious-es :P Well when the next leave? I feel like sleeping whole day, some Insomniac - right!


Oh! I have classes tomorrow , damn. Lectures, theories are so boring these days, I feel like sleeping when I see their faces. Oh sleep zzZZzzzZZZZzzz

and I fell asleep, still the music shuffles.